Friday, 19 August 2011

A turning point

My latest and perhaps most powerful turning point was prompted by a most surprising source.

I have been texting and talking to that boy I kissed a few weeks ago. Although most of our conversations are light and playful, heavier topics have arisen. He was also left and completely devastated by the break up of his marriage. We started talking about the tears and sadness that accompanied our experiences. He then mentioned that he would never cry over another woman again. This took me by surprise and I went on to say that no matter how painful this last year as been, I would do it again, just to experience the pure joy that was a part of my reltaionship too. I thought that perhaps he had become very jaded and cold. He want on to explain that he spent so much time crying over this woman, at home, church, and work, for someone that didn't want him anymore.

It started to sink in a little more. A light, as though on a dimmer, slowly started to come on. I had spent so many nights in bed alone crying, driving in my car, with friends over glasses of wine, in the shower trying to muffle my sobs.

I just decided to stop.

Since that moment, I have had some very difficult times (as will be described in a later post), but I have not cried over him!