Friday, 18 November 2011

Preparing for the first date

Six months ago I couldn't even imagine ever being ready, or even wanting to go on a date. I was still grieving the loss of my marriage, and was feeling unsure about relationships in general. But then that all changed, suddenly and unexpectedly, the night I kissed a boy.

It had been so wonderful meeting him, chatting and having that first smooch. We live in different cities and countries, have both been married and are single parents now, so anything more coming of it seemed unlikely. But after texting and chatting, we decided to see eachother again.

Now making time for it to even happen was pretty tricky. When you date someone who also has kids, coordinating the calendars is most challenging. This may involve just when they are with the other parent, or you may need to get childcare. It was over a month before we managed to arrange our first date. The weekend was set. We would meet with a few cards stacked against us and baggage in tow.:)

I must say I had forgotten how much goes into getting ready for a date. It had been almost a decade since the last time I was single. Now, along with the regular anxiety and preparation, there's new buisness to be taken care of: the grey hair, saggier boobs, somewhat neglected lady bits, and a still healing self esteem. This date was going to take some work.

That week before I was so excited, nervous and busy. Let me break it down.

Hair- cut & color- $150
Nails- pedi & mani- $70( this is going a bit all out for me, but feels sexy with them done)
Waxing- $15 - I mean I am hoping to get lucky:)
Clothes- new shirt, bra & heels- $100- first post-baby sexy bra! All my shirts & heels are new to him, so this purchase was far from necessary, but by now I was on a roll.

All of this also meant more childcare by my mom. I really dont know what I'd do without her.:)
So after about 6 hours spanned over 3 days and too much money spent, I was ready. At this point you're probably hoping it's more than just coffee we were meeting for, and it was. This was a day & night date, as we live 3 hours apart.

So what did we actually do?

We went to the end of a baseball game (yes, just the end because he didn't get tickets and I was very late thanks to a 2 hour border lineup...not the best start). Then it was off for appys and drinks by the lake where we really got to chat and laugh. It was comfortable and there was definitely chemistry. After some more smooches we met mutual friends for drinks, before going back to his place...

It was wonderful and worth every second and cent of preperation. I'm amazed at how 'firsts' are still so exhilirating. There were times leading up to this date, including that ridiculously long border lineup, when I thought what the hell am I doing and why am I bothering. But I'm so glad I did. If you are contemplating a first date, or still feeling too scared to dive back in to the dating pool, I say jump!

And for those of you who have already been dating, I'd love to know, what was invloved in getting ready for your first date?

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