Thursday, 27 October 2011

The Marital Agreement

I don't know why it's called that  (well at least in state of Oregon it is) when it's really all about divorce.

When it was sent to me by our mediator, I couldn't open it for at least a week. It just sat in my inbox. Then I got the nerve to print it. I remember being quite emotional during that time and the feelings of anger resurfaced. A couple more weeks went by until I sat down with it and a bottle of wine and read it. It wasn't that bad. There weren't any shocking surprises. I'm not sure what I was dreading; I was there in the mediation while we decided most of these issues.

Well we then agreed to put it all on hold as I pursued my American citizenship; just to make all the paperwork a little easier. Another few months goes by. We revisit it via Skype during the summer, so I can immediately submit it once my other paperwork goes through. We agreed to some changes. I became a citizen mid August.

Have I submitted it? Nope.

What's wrong with me?

At this point I very much want this divorce to happen, but I'm avoiding this stupid paperwork. It sits on my desk in a folder titled divorce in huge red letters.

Last week I gave myself a deadline of submitting it by my birthday. I thought getting this done and starting my new year off fresh would be a good idea.

My birthday's tomorrow and I still haven't done it. Arghhh.

Why is this soooooo hard???????


  1. Because that means it's officially over and makes everything so final and it can be scary.

  2. Paperwork of any kind is a pain in the ass to do. I procrastinate on doing everything, even though it might be so simple to stick in an envelope and send it off. When it comes to a "marital agreement" I imagine it would be even harder to do. Nothing is wrong with you. It's another one of those final pieces. You've made it through alot of those "this is the end" things. Of course this is hard. It will feel good when you've done it. Maybe it will feel really sad too, but you'll also have some relief I'm sure. At some point at least. Wish I could be there with you to sit down and do it. Either do it today or put it off till after your birthday and enjoy the day. I'll try to give you a call tomorrow, hopefully if you are around you can chat. Thinking of you lots. Sending you a big hug and lots of love. You are strong. You are brave. Liz

  3. Well I did it and before midnight on my birthday:) It felt like a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders! Moving forward...