Monday, 9 May 2011

On Mother's Day I Cried

I woke up happy to see my little man. He woke up happy too. So after a quick diaper change we headed downstairs for his milk. My mom had gotten a pot of mums and a card, from Mekhi. She is very thoughtful so I can't say I was surprised, but I so appreciated it. We then made a yummy breakfast, with the help of my little man, of coffee, pancakes, fruit salad and bacon. Shortly after that I had a shower and started to ball uncontrollably.

I cried because I love my son so much, but don't know what I'm going to do to provide for us.
I cried because I'm tired.
I cried because I can't find a job.
I cried because I'm living in my parents' basement.
I cried because I only have a car and some boxes in my old condo to show for my adult life so far.
I cried because I miss laying down next to someone at night.
I cried because I'm wondering if my ex will recognize the day, and acknowledge everything I do as the mother of our son.
I cried because I didn't think I'd be a single mom.
I cried because I've been trying to stay positive.
I cried because trying doesn't seem to be enough.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night for these same reasons.