Thursday, 5 May 2011

Taking the High Road Can Feel Like Climbing Mt. Everest

Over the last year there were times I wanted to act out my own scorn woman movie scene.

I thought about throwing his clothes over the porch to the garden below in the pouring rain.  I envisioned his precious motorcycle accidently tipping over in the garage or perhaps having the unfortuate meeting with a lit match. I imagined going down to his favorite pub late a night with baby on hip, to annouce how that 'great guy' had chosen them over us.

But I never did.

I didn't do any of the things I imagined. I bit my tongue, most of the time.  I kept my angry desires to hurt, embarrass and punish him just that, desires.

I wanted to keep my dignity. I wanted to be able to look back and not regret the desicions I made and actions I took. I wanted control over something. He may be ruining our family, but he wasn't going to ruin me.

I took the high road. It has been my Mt. Everest, the most challenging thing I've ever done.

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