Sunday, 18 December 2011

Holidays are hard

Holidays are hard when you've seperated or divorced. I hope, like every other part of this process, it gets easier over time.

Last week was really rough, and I was on the verge of tears constantly. I just wanted to fall apart, have a good cry and nap. Eventually that's what I did. I'm sure it's part of the stress that others also feel during the holidays with finances, social engagements and travel arrangements. But I've also felt so lonely; the lonely when you're heartaches and stomach is nauseous. I felt the same around Thanksgiving. I do have him at Christmas and we will be spending it with my family, which I am so grateful for. I also knew I was going to visit some friends I haven't seen for awhile before Christmas. But I still felt blue. If I have friends and family, why did it feel so sad and like I was all alone?

I think I miss having that other person to share the joy and stress of things with; holiday parties, turkey dinner, shopping for inlaws, putting up lights and arguing over the tree. It's the 'happy family' around holidays that I miss. I know my son and I are now our own wonderful little family and we are creating our own holiday tradition. This is a difficult transition though, and perhaps what makes holidays still hard.


  1. The first few years were really rough on me. And then I found the Power of Negative Thinking. I dreaded Xmas parties, Xmas Eve, all of it. I dreaded it like Eeyore. And they didn't end up being half as bad as I'd expected. Now, I don't necessarily dread the holidays, but I don't look forward to them, either. I just try not to think about them too much altogether, and the holidays haven't killed me yet. Soon enough, it'll be mid-Jan.

  2. Thanks April. We're getting through, so far:)Not loving the travel so much with a 2 1/2 year old, but will be home soon. Never really thought I'd look forward to January either. :) Best wishes to you and your kids!

  3. I know how you feel it's my first Christmas as a single mama and it feels so lonely despite how many friends and family you may have around :(

  4. Thinking of you and your daughter. I'm trying to focus on the excitement of my son. He tells anyone who will listen that Santa's coming and bringing him a train table. :) I hope you can get distracted with your little one too.
    Merry Christmas!

  5. This is my second Christmas alone. Granted I have my three kids living with me and am surrounded by friends and family, but it's just not the same thing. It's not my ex that I miss... And I actually don't miss her. It's the sharing and companionship that you can only get with another adult that I want the most.

    I know it sounds strange for a guy to be saying that, but us men do have feelings too. (usually) lol

    However, my children and I have began creating new family traditions as we get through it together.

  6. Of course you boys have feelings too and so glad you shared! :)I agree that it is the sharing and companionship from another adult that is missed and makes these times more difficult. Glad you have your kiddos with you though and are starting some of your own traditions. Would love to hear what some of them are.