Holidays are hard when you've seperated or divorced. I hope, like every other part of this process, it gets easier over time.
Last week was really rough, and I was on the verge of tears constantly. I just wanted to fall apart, have a good cry and nap. Eventually that's what I did. I'm sure it's part of the stress that others also feel during the holidays with finances, social engagements and travel arrangements. But I've also felt so lonely; the lonely when you're heartaches and stomach is nauseous. I felt the same around Thanksgiving. I do have him at Christmas and we will be spending it with my family, which I am so grateful for. I also knew I was going to visit some friends I haven't seen for awhile before Christmas. But I still felt blue. If I have friends and family, why did it feel so sad and like I was all alone?
I think I miss having that other person to share the joy and stress of things with; holiday parties, turkey dinner, shopping for inlaws, putting up lights and arguing over the tree. It's the 'happy family' around holidays that I miss. I know my son and I are now our own wonderful little family and we are creating our own holiday tradition. This is a difficult transition though, and perhaps what makes holidays still hard.